11 And if he do not these three unto her, then shall she go out free without money.” Luther denounced the worthless married people who refused to build up the family of God by procreating as God would provide. Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife after 24 years of marriage because he said he doesn’t love her and he never did and he wanted children and she cannot give him children he has withheld sex for over 12 years from her should he be allowed to get a divorce and he is dating someone else online right in front of her. It sounds like your best bet here might be to support your husband through his sickness and also encourage him to seek more answers and an effective treatment. In Genesis 16:3, Sarah gave her husband Abraham her handmaiden Hagar as a wife. God expects both men and women to be busy. Find Christian based information on situations that arise in any relationship between husband and wife. The only recorded biblical account regarding abuse and divorce is in Genesis 16 and 21. I read of one man who was a good husband and doting father. if you are a pastor and can give biblically accurate response that keeps us together it would be nice This week I told him that I don’t necessarily expect him to dive in 40 hours a week, if he’s not able to, but given that he feels well enough to participate in many extra curricular activities, that I would expect him to “dip his feet” back into work. 1 Corinthians 7:11 Meaning 12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. The Bible never allows a man to divorce his wife because she is not able to have children. “… a husband may not divorce his wife for laziness, but he may discipline her for it as her head and authority.”. This would be difficult for the wife to obey if the husband put her away, or departed from her. When he married you it was implied in your marriage before God that he would love you unconditionally by leading you, providing for your physical needs(food, clothing, shelter) and also giving you sex. She still has to have surgeries each year to address pain issues caused by nerves in her neck and back. Verb - Aorist Subjunctive Active - 3rd Person Singular. It it hard and and exhausting sometimes? So…. Tell him if he has refused to listen to the Pastor and counselors that he has one year to get a job ad provide as he should .Otherwise you will exercise your right to divorce him for failure to provide. Does this mean laziness on the part of a husband is acceptable before God? She made a covenant and she must honor that no matter how difficult it is to do double duty. As you can see, if you are looking for clear and direct statements in the Bible allowing for divorce in the case of spousal abuse, that is going to be difficult, if not impossible. My dad had cancer and ended up having a trache with voice box (sounding like a robot) as an architect and still worked another 15 years. But we’re enlightened now. God only expects us to do what we are able to do. If you're unsure, you can look at the back of your bible. Attitude is crucial. I now have 3 titanium rods in my back and have difficulty even walking So if I did something wrong if there a way to correct it without anyone’s help I know lots of people with certain disabilities who still manage to do what they can. And a husband must not divorce his wife. Again this is temporary and for the ultimate purpose of him becoming the primary provider and her being able to step down from that role. Asked about whether the husband and wife might re ... Charles Stanley kept up the image of ideal Christian husband. I’ve mentioned of course that I would like more intimacy. From ei and an; a conditional particle; in case that, provided, etc. Went to Penn State and majored in electrical engineering and is a Network Engineer. If you cannot work then you cannot work. It was prominent, well-to-do women who got the stocks and whipping post abolished. Personal / Possessive Pronoun - Genitive Feminine 3rd Person Singular. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. Another passage, 1 Corinthians 7:15-17, tells us: Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. when wilt thou arise out of thy sleep?” – Proverbs 6:9 (KJV). Legal dissolution of the marital union. And I think that is why Peter wrote 1 Peter 3:1–7 for wives in particular, because these words are meant to help a woman know how to think about changing her husband, in this case, an unbelieving husband. I know that sounds terrible to say, but we went on vacation this summer for two weeks and he went snorkeling, out to eat, swam, had a blast. Question: "Does the Bible say that abandonment is a valid reason for divorce and remarriage?" 3 So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.”. This served as protection for her, as a delaying mechanism so that in a fit of anger a husband could not simply pronounce a declaration of divorce and be done with her. The scriptures tell us that if our spouse abandons us we are no longer bound in marriage to them anymore and may be free: “15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. Or, if he doesn’t want to do this job anymore, maybe he wants to learn a new trade, such as get his life agent license and work with me part-time, just so he has some extra income coming in and isn’t completely out of the job market for multiple years, as that would not look very good on a resume. Now he is no where to be found. A man may have inherited wealth, or earned wealth from a business he owned many years ago and sold. But I also work 40+ hours a week, make 100k/yr, am the sole bread winner of the family since my wife had our first child, 14 years ago, and have a physical disability limiting my mobility. There is no magic thing I can say except that the Lord expects her to keep covenant with you. So while he does not have the right to divorce you – you certainly have the right to divorce him for him withholding sexual relations for 12 years. I’m able to pay the mortgage, buy food, pay all utilities, cars, clothes, etc. It’s like drinking. The following is an edited transcript of the audio. Well just tell her she is going to get the all hand-me downs and used stuff for the baby – just kidding. Other, another (of more than two), different. Verb - Present Indicative Middle or Passive - 3rd Person Singular. The “video game husband” is growing issue. Sex is often contraindicated during the final stages of pregnancy, plus an additional six weeks after birth (or whenever the lochia dries up). I don't think so. The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman caught in adultery, and having set her in the center of the … Hence the severance of the marriage bond between a husband and a wife. and my wife refuses to Help me get back on my feet She will get custody of the children, the house, and half of everything he has acquired since their wedding day. I work in insurance. It may depend on the laws in your state: Both give the same advice, for the wife not to depart from her husband. Some men allow it to dominate their lives. I Corinthians 7:15 (KJV). I play RTS games on the computer with some of my sons(which last several hours) and I also play Xbox and ps4 with my kids on the weekends. And if she herself shall put away her husband, and marry another, she committeth adultery, καὶ ἐὰν αὐτὴ ἀπολύσασα τὸν ἄνδρα αὑτῆς γαμήση ἄλλον μοιχᾶται, Ellicott's Commentary for English Readers, NT Gospels: Mark 10:12 If a woman herself divorces her husband (Mar Mk Mr) Christian Bible Study Resources, Dictionary, Concordance and Search Tools. It is different if he is disabled, but when an able bodied man refuses to work I believe we ought to follow God’s Word in I Thessalonians: “For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.” – 2 Thessalonians 3:10 (KJV), Source: TRF_Mr_Hyde at https://www.flickr.com/photos/scottchene/7702773622/in/photostream/ Someone might ask – “Why would a man free his wife even if he was not providing for her physical needs as God commanded?” While the woman could not free herself – her male relatives or the elders of their town could force a man to give his wife a bill of divorce and free her if he was neglecting to provide for her with food and clothing (and shelter would be included with clothing). Here Moses’s states that there are three critical duties a husband has to his wife – he must provide her with food, clothing and duty of marriage. Just that it was an important way that we show our love and closeness, etc. I have always thought that god would never want a woman to be in a relationship with a man like this, but lately when I have been rreading the bible I feel as though the scripture only addresses men, that it is ok for a man to divorce his wife for infidelity. I understand your frustration, but it sounds as though your husband might have a legitimate and severe health problem that’s keeping him from working, taking care of himself, and feeling well enough to want sex. He also advocates not to marry for the wrong reason in the first place. My husband lost his job 2years ago because his back could not handle the physical work anymore. Ask him to go to a counselor and see if he will listen. Even aside from the costs, children limit a wife’s sexual availability for her husband before they are born. Many others made similar denunciations. I am disabled with 19 orthopedic injuries to by body and I am only 50 I am 4 months past spinal surgery I would like for my wife to get her tubes tied (we have four children), but she won’t have any of it. If he is partially disabled, she is responsible for making up the difference. By divorcing his wife, the husband puts her in the position where she is strongly tempted to remarry and if she does remarry, Jesus says she is guilty of adultery and so is the man she marries (in contrast to the Mosaic Law which tolerated the remarriage). Principles of Marriage … 10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. God says that you as wife have a right to be provided for by your husband if he is able bodied. That does sound really tough for you. 11 And if he do not these three unto her, then shall she go out free without money.” He’s given up and although I think he may have some medical issues, he still manages to do the things he likes, such as video games, he goes to the shooting range, reads, etc. Chronic migraines can be incredibly debilitating, and you say that the doctors found brain lesions as well. Some Christian teachers try and use this verse from the same passage to say a woman is bound to her husband for life even if he abandons her: “The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.” “2 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. Besides all that, he barely wants to touch me physically. playing video games has nothing to do with it. For some men it is an addiction just as strong a drugs or porn. Ephesians 5:22-33 You will decide how much pocket money you will allow him to have. Some say that the Bible never tells a wife to obey her husband, but Peter holds up Sarah’s obedience to Abraham as an example of biblical submission. Let me just say that with each of my kids I thought I could not afford it, I was always scared – but God provides. 1 Corinthians 7:11 - But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to [her] husband: and let not the husband put away [his] wife. And if she resents his efforts at disciplinary action, the divorce lawyers advertise on TV, radio and the internet (facebook) how easy, quick and cheap a divorce is. Jeremiah 3:14; 31:32). If that didn’t work, publicly whipped. If he can sit and play video games, he can do an internet job such as customer service, call center, surveys. And a husband must not divorce his wife. Our minds and bodies were not meant to lay around on a couch all day. 1 Corinthians 7:15 continues, “But if the husband or wife who isn’t a Christian insists on leaving, let them go. It was men who advocated and used the stocks and the whipping post. Unfortunately most local churches support, endorse and pretty much encourage this sad state of affairs. For example, the prophet says to Judah, “Your Maker is your husband—the LORD Almighty is his name—the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth” (Isaiah 54:5; cf. 2and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, 3and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, 4then her first husband, who divorced her, is … He will not have access to video games, tobacco or alcohol while in jail. 22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. If a man fails to provide for his wife and children does God consider this a breach of the marriage covenant allowing for a woman to divorce her husband? Just because a man is expected to be the primary provider, this does not free a wife to sit on the couch all day either. “duty of marriage” is refers to sexual relations. He claims himself to be a “stay-at-home” dad, in which he takes and picks up our daughter to preschool, but I still get her ready, take care of the finances, fix dinner, etc. My spouse has not worked in a little over 3 years. When he was laid off in 2013, I picked up the slack and worked a little harder and I do earn a bit more now than when he was laid off due to a promotion I received, and we adjusted our finances a bit to “make it work”. Divorce is a last resort, but Christ permits divorce for adultery, or sexual immorality. That's my radical, crazy, conservative, narrow, hard … Unfortunately I can’t give you any advice that would keep you together. I said it as gently as possible, trying not to insult or start an argument. Except when on a drinking binge. If your wife disagrees with you on contraception and fears that you’re leading her to sin by trying to get her to use it, perhaps you could look to a Christian counselor for spiritual advice. He said don’t get divorced for bad reasons. Luke 16:18 (NASB) Jesus clarified Moses’ command. I mostly agree, but what about a wife who refuses to use birth control when finances are too tight for another child? But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.” (1 Corinthians 7:39-40) ***** In essence she has to pull double duty. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.” Nor is he allowed to be bitter at you for that fact. I suggested that maybe he see a physician and consider getting his testosterone tested. But there are many great things in life that give us pleasure whether they are sex with our wife, eating food or drinking alcohol that if over used can cause us to neglect our duties. Until he “plays the man,” now called “mans up,” all monies he earns must go into an account that only you or a trustee have access to. New American Standard 1977 and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery.” King James 2000 Bible Does God allow a woman to divorce her husband for failure to provide? It’s very frustrating to watch, even from a distance. Yours is not the first story I have heard of the husband who stays home playing video games rather than looking to actually provide for his family. If will not go or will not listen to a counselor you need to get your Pastor involved. It is now 2016 and I have been very faithful in the marriage until now. (Although the selectively sick person in question was a teenage girl.) I do all of the cooking. “The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.” I Corinthians 7:39 (KJV) But verse 39 is talking about celibacy vs marriage and that if a woman marries she is bound to her husband as long as he lives IF he does not commit a sin that would force him to free her from him or he does divorce her … After he passed out, she took their son’s softball bat and very carefully beat him from his shoulders to his feet, taking care not to injure him so that he could not work by the next Monday morning. If. Some couples may agree that for a temporary time while a man is finishing college to provide a good life for his family, that his wife may be the primary source of income during this time. God is clear in Exodus 21:10-11 that a woman is to be freed (allowed a divorce) from a husband that refuses to provide her because in doing so he has breached the marriage covenant. Guy Who Plays Video Games – I personally don’t have anything against video games in the healthy sense of activities that blow off steam, such as reading, watching t.v., playing video games, etc. Wow you guys really don’t like people who play video games, huh? Required fields are marked *. While he is out, be the good wife to him, but keep just enough food in the house for him and the child each day. They opposed marriage but tolerated it among the “auditors,” their laity. https://www.flickr.com/photos/scottchene/7702773622/in/photostream/, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/, Follow Biblical Gender Roles on WordPress.com, A Newlywed Couple Incorporates Sexual Obedience Into Their Marriage, Rush Limbaugh Says We May be Headed for Secession, A Newlywed Wife’s Experience with Incorporating Domestic Discipline, A Newlywed Christian Husband’s Experience with Incorporating Domestic Discipline, 19th Century Judicial Precedents Regarding Domestic Discipline, A 19th Century Suffragette View of Domestic Discipline, The Biblical Case for Domestic Discipline, No, Larry Solomon of BiblicalGenderRoles.com is Not Steven Anderson. Don’t use it as an excuse or a crutch in your argument. Learn how your comment data is processed. I know someone who recently separated from her husband because he is a "pervert" He used his career to take pictures of younger girls. Men were beaten on their wives’ complaints of their use of methods of contraception. He, she, it, they, them, same. I have nothing against people who play video games, just as I have nothing against people who eat food or drink alcohol. Is your wife preventing you from wearing a condom during sex? When he came out of his stupor, she told him that the next time, he’d better kill her or she would use the bat on his head. He said, “I may be sitting on the outside, but I’m standing on the inside.” That’s defiance, not submission. It means that all it takes to put him in jail, this time on criminal charges, is one bruise, slap mark, whatever. Unless a husband and father is totally unable to work at all, he is not entitled to be supported by his wife. I’ve come across many different interpretations of the command to be fruitful and multiply, but if you’ve already had several children, it seems to me that you’ve definitely done a good deal to further and increase the human population. Do not let him have any access to any money that you have earned. So this man could be lazy – sit on a couch all day, play video games and eat Cheetos. Someone who enjoys a couple of glasses of wine each week is different than someone who needs an entire bottle each night. From apo and luo; to free fully, i.e. He will then be released but after a certain period of time be subpoenaed to court, or be taken into custody once again and the cycle repeated. If treatment doesn’t turn out to be very effective, you might look into what kind of disability benefits you two could get. Over that year separate your finances and make it very real for him. That was my point – but I cannot speak for others who perhaps had a different point. Oh…regarding the intimacy issues, I’ve tried to be supportive as well. When you start getting money (AFDC-Welfare) from the government, let them know that he is partially disabled and needs help finding employment. And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away. Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries one who is divorced from a husband commits adultery. Different. God says in the book of Proverbs: “How long wilt thou sleep, O sluggard? I play video games with my children. If this works, you will have saved your husband, your child’s father and your marriage. “I mostly agree, but what about a wife who refuses to use birth control when finances are too tight for another child?”. To commit adultery, not only of a married woman but of a married man. We want things about our spouses and ourselves to change now. hello I am posting this question to truly find if I am wrong and how I correct the issue if possible as the law of the land states that I can not generate an income until I receive social security then I can only earn up to 1k per month more under stipulation Is it okay now for me to get a divorce? In such cases the Christian husband or wife is not required to stay with them, for God wants his children to live in peace.” This Scripture has been repeatedly misused for personal advantage. Thanks. My wife was in a car accident almost 4 years ago where suffered major back and neck injuries. “If he take him another wife; her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage, shall he not diminish. Used under Creativecommons license 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/, Your email address will not be published. Does the Bible allow for divorce in the case of adultery? In Genesis 21, after Hagar mentally abused Sarah, Abraham sent Hagar away—effectively divorcing her. and that I don’t want to get so far into this pattern that we stop altogether. Some men can live their entire life off their savings. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.” And finally, a few thoughts from me: If trust has been broken between you and your wife through any sexual indiscretions, it takes a … If your wife is in a sinful selfish state believing she can leave because she just wants to escape your physical issues she will answer to God for that. If you decide that you are not going to work and play 40 hours a week of video games, then it is a problem. as I believed my vows of marriage at least insulated me within my family but my wife does not see it as I do she has completely rejected me because I’m disabled. Each time the period of jailing will be longer. People did these things but they were regarded as gross sinners. If he repents, AND shows WORKS worthy of repentance (not just words), once you and your counselor/adviser are convinced that he is ready, he must be the man of the house once again. This does not mean that he cannot live with you, have sex with you. I’m truly afraid and paralyzed as to how to handle this situation. On a personal note this is one of the most disgusting things I have ever seen – and I have seen it up close and personal with some of my relatives and other acquaintances. Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. Some men may lose their jobs (either because of their own failure, or no failure of their own) and this temporary loss of provision does not warrant divorce. It disgusts me to see men get laid off from their job, and purposefully sit on a couch playing video games and watching TV collecting unemployment checks for months before finally looking for work in their last month of unemployment. No – a husband may not divorce his wife for laziness, but he may discipline her for it as her head and authority. I just feel like he has a bit of selective migraines. Oh, yes, we all do. I have asked him in the past to come back to the marriage but he wanted to stay single. In fact some men may go through some temporary times of depression if they lose their job and a wife needs to be patient with her husband and build him back up.